its not what it looks like

i ask alot of questions, its not cuz im nosy im just curious.
i guess i like knowing stuff about people. i would ask way more questions then i normally do but i dont want people to get the wrong idea.

like i said theres a difference between me wanting to know shit about you and you giving me your life story that ive heard 5 trillion times already, stop being selfish.

i found out i know one other person that is no on the opposite sex. so this dude from work is anti girls. so we talked about why we are so anti them. its kinda interesting to see how he feels about women and let him know how i feel about the b word..boys.

i need a man and they can be so hard to find...hehe

so we basically to sum it up: girls can lead guys on and make them feel like shit for reading the signals wrong, and guys say a bunch of nice shit for the boooootay.

there are exceptions ex: me and him.

also my friend sandra is going through what i went thru a while back with my ex, who we dont talk about anymore. it sucks to know that she has to go thru such crap. its so weird how one boy can make you feel so small, but then make you so incredibly happy so easily with any little thing. they can get away with murder.

i told her that i just cut out my ex from my life. i didnt tell her to do the same, but i told her that he isnt gonna give her what she needs and she needs to realize if the pain is worth it, if its not then she needs to slowly distance her self.

shes not the kind of person to cut someone off, she is just so loving with people.

it just made me think, does that make me a bad person? am i a heartless girl for cutting a boy out of my life i was with for over 2 yrs. i lost my virginity to him for gods sake. it took me a while to cut him out. but when i did it i did it with no remorse.

i wont lie i kinda mest up once, he contacted me..long story.
but i can never let him back in my life. well not any any time soon, maybe in like a yr if i run into him. but even then i dont think i wanna get all chummy.

i cut out my cousin, who was like my sister. well she did talk shit about me and my mom, so that bitch can burn for all i care.

but what kind of person can just not care. its not like i dont love them or miss them sometimes. i always will, they were huge parts of my life. but thats the thing they were.

im such a loving girl, i have enough love for the world. but i cant give it to people who take advantage of it. not anymore.

i learned something, love it gained and earned. not just given. i expect to work for love and i expect people to want to work for mine.



man, i need to learn to discipline my puppy. hes such a guy. he fucks up then licks me, cuddles and gives me that face and i cant help but forgive him. :]
im telling you they get away with murder!!