la pinche vida

so. the boy.
i havent been avoiding him. more like "i lost my phone sorry i missed that call" kinda shit you know. or i m busy sorry i cant hang. im a horrible horrid girl that will be forced to walk the world only breaking hearts and never getting the chance to love and be loved.

hes already in a love hurts incubus kinda mood.
aw!!! more akward asian face!!!!!! im doing my best to make it a proper one since i am not the best at it, ed is. [yea thats a shout out, like in the rap music videos]

i hate this, im becoming a nun.

wait, no.

so ive read 2 books in the past 3 days. i would have finished it earlier if i didnt have to:
work thursday, mow the lawn, then help clean the yards, then do all the normal house shit on firday and then go out, and then have family come by today. oh and i walked and played with the dog all 3 days.

im reading a series im on 3 of like 8. so almost! i love amazon.

since on the subject of lawns, i HATE mowing the freaking thing!
i dont know why my mother decided it was a good idea to make me do it on friday. has the woman gone mad!its known that i just dont do it. im not good at it. she always bitches about how i do it un evenly and not well. my responce: then why make me do it. and shes always so quick to say, so you'll learn. i dont wanna learn, if i ever have a lawn ill find a kids who'll do it for 10 bucks. help the little people out a bit, its a win win. and if im married then i guess we know what he'll be doing.
but i had to on friday, i actually decided to do it well. not to good cuz then my mom will make a habit of making me do it, but good enough she wouldnt complain.

ive been so poopy. what the feezie is going in wit me. i really havent been in the mood for anything. i took a nap today, well i guess it wasnt so much of a nap as much as it was sleeping the day away. i woke up at 11. did what i had to. i then read for hours. took a nap at around 3 and didnt get up till almost 8. went to jack in the box. and read until i had to go get my brother.

wow. am i getting use to my old cat lady life already. maybe its a good thing. ill feel less bad for myself later in life. i can use the excuse no im happy this way, since ive been this way since 20.

or maybe it could just be im bored. and just waiting to turn 21, and maybe ill actually take part in having a life again.

my mom even looked at me weird today. i guess this change in me is that noticeable. she asked me if im on my period. i am not.

its probly my fault. im tired of feeling this way, but i dont do anything about it. i just sit back and feel help less. i need to take charge dammit.

i applied at this place where my friend works. her friends gonna be management in about 2 weeks so i think im in.

my bday is coming up.

school is still confusing

fucktard!

i dont wanna become a sham of a person with no future goals or ambition.

why am i being such a downer lately.fuck.

i guess its like one of those things where one thing goes bad so everything else follows and i havent had things be this sucky so its getting to me a bit.

meh. on the bright side even thou i havent been on my adventures, havent ran into random people and situations, i have had my laughs.

man. life is never that bad.

ok must stop. no more blog. lol
less blog more music. or museak or musik or musak
lol