what to do..

sometimes i dont even know why this sort of thing ever happens. its not like its my fault but, matters of the heart are always tricky.

so, my ex all of a sudden has been txting me alot. which is cool. hes such a rad kid i wanted to stay friends. but i think after a break up there has to be a little distance just to kinda of make it easier. whatever, anyways. so lately it has been like a everyday thing. i didnt think much of it, at all.

im so blind when it comes to this sort of thing. i never think anyone likes me. just like i never realize when im flirting. cuz apparently i can be a flirt.

so he then springs it at me. he starts off being all funny and joking around that its my fault he cant sleep cuz its 3am. i ask why, he just says just cuz. then he says it.

dun dun dun

ive been thinking about you alot lately.


:/ <--- that was my face.

ok its been months since we broke up and really talked and ive moved on. i really just dont see myself getting romantically involved with him anymore. im SO into signs, so i took our break up as a sign.

maybe im suppose to meet someone else soon or way later, but i took it as a im not suppose to be with him, at all or right now. i read into things alot. yea, its annoying :]

but, i dont know what to do. im not leading him on. if he starts to get all mushy on me and talk about feelings im going to have to just tell him.

i think we should just be friends.

guys favorite words huh?

i dont know what else to say. hes cool, i know he wont go psycho. hes a sensitive kid i kinda think this will result in alot of poems about broken hearts. thats gonna fuckin hurt me so bad.

but im not gonna lead him on, it'll hurt him way more in the long run and its not fair to the both of us.

i really hate that i have to do this AGAIN, and it wasnt with im the last time. jeeeeez im bad luck i think!

can we all just stop this shit. wouldn't it be nice if God just wrote us all a letter with a picture and an address of the person we're suppose to be with. haha and maybe his aim. it would stop all the getting hurt and hurting others.


but then i guess we'd never learn what we have to.

it just sucks to hurt someone, cuz i know what it feels like to be hurt.