oh man

is it just me or does it piss you off so see people so fuckin happy sometimes.

not that im some hateful bitter unhappy bitch

im really not

hateful or a bitch or bitter

maybe just good grief you know?

no but i chose this rut and here i lay.

happy in my own bizarre maybe so unhappiness.

witch isnt relay unhappiness

more like damn you all shakes fist but ends up laughing after i do so kinda thing


oh man.
i need a casper

you know the friendly ghost. to tell everything to and just take it for what it is because he doesnt really know better. cuz hes dead.

he was a good boy

to whom this may concern

i was recently told by someone to check these out so i did, on youtube obviously
i watch the trailers so i can get a sense of the movie before i watch them

princess mononoke
spirited away
howls moving castle
my neighbor totoro
full metal alchemist

princess mononoke and spirited away look beautifully made.
my neighbor totoro is so cute, just the two little girls and the little mice things lol
howls moving castle was my favorite from them all, it just looks so offbeat and the story really hooked me the girl gets turned into this old lady and the guy..
full metal alchemist looked good, but they didnt have a good trailer. the one i did warned having a spoiler. but it did look like they have the whole 51 or something episodes on line so ill watch it, but i have no idea what its about. there were alot of fan videos with music but i couldnt make out what was going on in some of them.

but its kinda late, im kinda psyched to really check them all out now.
the howls and full metal will most def be the ones i watch first.

so thanx :]

no mames

is it bad to be so self aware.
to know exactly why you are the way you are and why you react a certain way. for only being 2o i know exactly how and why i am the way i am.

its been good. but it messes wit me. ill catch myself before an act and try to counter it but i mess it up.or i try to be better at what i know i suck at and it never goes well either.

i think i know more then i should, some how it gets twisted in my head and i go on doing what i shouldn't as if i have no clue i would. when i saw it coming.

i know why i give to many chances, i know why im to nice, i know why i just dont give a shit..

it would probably be easier if i didnt.

people always come to me with issue when they needed to talk that i started coming to me. so late at nights i would just talk to myself. not out load cuz that would be crazy. id go on and on. id even make myself laugh sometimes. that was a little crazy. until i said everything even the things i didnt want to say.

so now i know exactly why.


nah, it has to be a good thing. ive always been pretty good with dealing with people.

i cant stand when you cant read a person and you have no idea what they want. it bugs me lol. i just wanna know and i dont wanna bring it up or go first



times like this i wish batman were real. he'd crawl thru my window id give him a nice back rub. we'd say good night [with s sloppy kiss duh] and go to sleep.

yes i day dream about bruce wayne. i like guys that are put together with a dark side. i dont mind a boy with a past as long as he can man up to it and has changed for the better.
also bruce is so smart, so hes a bit nerdy[plus]
we can watch cartoons together maybe he'll be into the history channel, teen titans haha.
i can go on and on about our imaginary lives together.
of course ill worry when he goes out, but i know he'll always come home. ill take care of the business [ yea i can get business savy] and our home while he fights for justice. plus the suite is so hot ;] oh yes.

for the sake of love

i dont really like anime

but i love me some Inuyasha and Kagome

fuckin cartoon network <3

i also love harley, from batman

thats would be a sick halloween costume haha

friends no more

ok i dont know what to do.

i have this guy friend and he really is a chill as guy. i consider him a good friend. a ride or die kinda friend.

but he dated one of my friends. like they were engaged. and all this shit went down after they broke up.

she doesnt really talk to him. so she say.

so now im wondering is it bad if i still would like to be friends with him.

they both will tell me shit and you dont know who to believe really.

ive stayed out of it and pretty mutual. and for a while i had to keep my friend ship with him a secret.

it breaks my heart to have to ignore him.

i would just like it to be okay to be both their friends.

but, i wonder is it ok? is there some kind of loyalty i owe her?

hmmmm..

thats not fair

okay.
i hate this whole double standard.

why are girls sluts and guys "playas"

if a guy were to say fuck im horny it'd be ok. but if i were to say oh god i want some id be a slut or people would assume im easy.

theres a difference between sleeping around and maybe just feeling lonely, but its not like your gonna go run to some random dude and demand him to take his pants off.

fuck people stop hating

girls get lonely too. haha


my cat has an eye infection. gross.

is it me, or do you sometimes go snooping around ex myspaces. not like in this oh i want him/her way. but you just wonder what they're doing.

so i found myself doing that. i forgot how cute he was. even my mom liked him. but i broke up with him like forever ago [last yr] and its nice to see he found someone else. he was such a great guy, he just wasnt for me. i felt like the worst person ever for breaking up with him. but everything happens for a reason.
i aint gonna lie i went lurking around her page too. she seems really cool.

and i love that when ever he hears an indy/ alternative song he still thinks of me.
i think i may have been to much for that boy. his reaction to things i'd say or do were funny.


despite all the boys ive meet i hope the best for all of them. and i hope they all find that person that they are ment to be with.


i went to a wedding last weekend in daly city. i helped cater it for my dads and uncles side business. and my mom was telling me to go out and look while the bride and groom came in. she said maybe id get ideas for when i decide to get married. i couldnt help but just laugh. only becuz i have that shit planned out to a T. haha kidding. no becuase i just cant see myself getting married.

wow i think ive turned myself into bridget jones.
ive turned away every guy ive ever met and liked.

haha wow.

no, yea ill get married. guys are to cute and funny to not want to spend the rest of my days with.
we'll play jinga


i was so mad that day. they threw away my food!!! grrrrrrrr
that is NEVER a good idea if you want to continue living

peeping tom

ok so i went late night lurking with my mom the other day.
my mom and dad belong to this group in our church and they get together every friday. this friday they're coming to our house again.

for 2 weeks they've been doing this secret santa thing where they buy something everyday and leave it for the couple they got.

so at like 10 pm i was watching tv and i hear someone ring our door bell and i could hear them running. so i was thinking ok lame ding dong ditching. but nope it was the church people. they left some good ass candy and flowers.

so then later that night like 11ish me and my mom go to the couple she got house to leave them a card and a nice plant she got them. it was so gay cuz we got there and they had there front door open. they were hanging out. so it hella ruined our plan. so we sneaked up to the side of the house opened there gate and just left it there. it was funny cuz my mom kept trying to plan it perfect. she even went back to make sure she left it in a good spot.




thank god for pools. ive been swimming alot. i also got a tan! i know! me a tan, its crazzzzy. maybe ill look mexican now.

new bangs, new tan, new state of mind.