so disappointed.

im so disillusioned right now.
i went from feeling confusion, rage, disgust, to disappointment.

so ima just put it all on here.

my cuzn sent me this message:

yeah so I'm just going to say it straight out, you're a little bitch dude. why the fuck do you have to tell your bitch ass mom everything we talk about? do you know how much fucking drama you just started? all because you have a huge ass mouth. if i tell you shit its cause you're my fucking cousin and you should keep it to yourself but you're a fucking little cunt. seriously i thought you were different than your mom but turns out that you two are both bitches. it just totally sucks that i actually trusted you and thought you were cool. have fun in your pointless sheltered life you stupid fucking whore.

so i immediately write her back this:

wtf are you talking ABOUT. we dont even talk alot. what have i told my mom. the only thing i tell her is that your going to school.

dont call my mom a bitch. cuz you know what even if i did say something its not like im lying. if lifes shit its cuz thats how you made it. and what i may or may not tell her doesnt change what you do. so if you wanna blame me or her so be it. cuz in the end of the day your still doing that same shit that gets you no where and all the drama.

peace

i then went to talk to my mom, and ask her if she has said anything. she said she didnt. and i let her know about the message and my reply. she was so pissed. she just said to let it be because her and her mom have always been this way they blame others for there problem.
i was so pissed at my cuzn id knock out the girl of she were right here. but i wanted to be the bigger person so i kept my reply short. i grew up with her, shes like my sister.

so then after i came back and re read the message i got even madder. dont talk about my mom like that. thats the ultimate respect and im not having it.

so i wrote her again:

have fun in your pointless waste of a life. oh and when your about to get kicked out and have no place to live tell your mom to not call my mom for money. cuz you know that shit gets old. and seriously your dad leaving shit that sucks but seriously anyone would get annoyed of taking care of a person like you who doesnt do shit and is a ungrateful little cunt as stupid prick.seriously how about you do something with your life and grow up and stop having people take care of you.i may be sheltered but at least i dont have to worry about having a place to live and i have everything i could ever want and need. why cuz I WORK FOR IT. my highlight of the day isnt getting stoned and i have a job and i go to school.

and you know what my bitch ass mom is the one that your mom goes crying to . my bitch ass mom is the one your mom goes bitchin to when shes mad about all YOUR stupid shit. my bitch as mom is the one that always helps and sends money.and you know what. i just talked to my mom. she said that she has no idea what your talking about. cuz she hasnt said anything and she was even asking me what i know cuz ive nevere told her anything about you.

so im done. i wash my hand of you. im not going to allow you to even try to bring me down with your lame shit. i have to much going on..as my cuzn ill always love you. but as a person right now i find you ugly. cuz id never think you would be that kind of person.

first i wanna say there are some low blows about her dad and not having a place to live, but if you knew the situation youd understand and use them too. trust me its shit she does. its her not growing up and see things for what they are. she tried to run away all the time never gets a job runs out of money and then just comes home. its her still trying to act like a child when its time to grow up. her mom stresses my whole family out. she doesnt change she doesnt do anything to help her self. she bitched about how we dont care, and tells everyone to leave her alone. but when times are hard she comes crying to my mom and aunts telling them she needs there help. no one has ever turned there back on any of them. but they refuse to see that. and its bull shit.

there was so much more i wanted to say, so many names id want to call her. but i dont want this to blow up even more then it has to.
so i then talked to my friend and he let me know that i havent done anything wrong and if she is going to act that way then i should just let it be. im just so sick to my stomach. to think that she would just come at me like that. she should know me better. if she were to just ask me that would be one thing but she just goes off. and to talk about me whatever i dont care but to talk about my mom. thats asking to start something that she is not ready for.

so after having a long conversation with a friend i send her one late thing.

you know what ive had time to think about shit and what we both said.ill always have love for you as my cousin. but its just hella sad that you would go off on me. i thought as my cousin you would know me better then that.and you talking about me is one thing fine, but you talking about my mom isnt right. my mom has always tried to help you guys. she gives your mom money buys you stuff. i wish you could just see how much we all do care and how much we try to help.but you really hurt me. i dont have anything to ever say to you again. im done wit this and you.my mom and me wish you the best
peace


i feel so hurt. this is one of the worst pains ive felt in such a long time. to come from my family. i guess you cant really trust anyone, and anyone can just stab you in the back.

if i never talk to her or see her again it will be too soon.

are there any good people left. because im starting to think there may not be and just giving up.
im not gonna allow her to affect me and my life. her ignorant words dont shake me or my mom. because we are better then that. shes pathetic and thats all there is to it.