take me

i feel lost.
i feel stressed.
i feel hurt.
i feel alone.


its so weird for me to get like this. im usually so happy and up beat about things. but lately somethings been getting to me. i know its more then just my job.

i realized that im missing something. its hard to pin point what exactly. i feel like i lost something.
i need an escape fast.

i miss my friends alot.

i miss myself.


so i promised andrea and cynthia id go and visit them in south city [south san francisco just in case you dont know]. and since they dont hang ima have to go alot to see them separately.

maybe thats what im missing. im missing my city.

i dont know.

these are the night that make me want to crawl out of my window, wit a bottle and just sit and watch the night.

ive decided i need to be more honest and more open with my feelings. i guess i use to think that if i opend up completely about my feeling about being hurt it would show as weakness. but what ive come to realize it that its weak to have to hide something, and brave to just put it all out on the table. i then came to realize it wasnt that i was scared or weak, its that i needed to protect myself. no one else is going to watch out for me.

i dont want people to think that i pretend to be strong, i am. ive had to become strong. i dont what poeple to think twice about what ive said. ive meant it. its like a puzzle missing some pieces, i didnt place it all on the table, if you will.

but starting now i will. so for what ever is to come i will be honest to myself and everyone involved.

ive had to fight for myself, and i refuse to let it mean nothing. i refuse to lose any kind of identity i gained.

come save me.


i should save myself, and not rely on anyone one else to do it

but the help would be nice.